Snow Black
by LissyWrites
Summary: Sonia Nevermind reads Snow White to him everyday. She awaits the day that she finds the courage to be the princess charming he needs to bestow upon him true love's kiss, in hopes that he will awaken from his comatose state. She doesn't know if Tanaka will ever wake up, but she believes in the strength of fairy tales. It all relies on Tanaka and whether he believes in them, too.
1. Prologue

Day 16

You're still asleep. I like to read to you, even though I'm not sure if you're still listening. I read a little bit from Snow White today. You'd probably call me silly, reading to you from such an optimistic fairy tale, but I like to think it could come true, you know? I'm naïve. I'm embarrassed of myself sometimes. I just wonder if you are listening, if you do hear me, that if you hear about Snow waking up after having true love's kiss, that maybe you will do the same. I haven't tried to kiss you, yet. It's hard. I never even had the chance to tell you how I feel.

And even back then, when I had the chance, I wouldn't call what I felt "love." I really liked you, though. I wanted to tell you ghost stories from my country. I wanted to go on a regular date with you. The kind of date regular girls go on with their lovers. I suppose that's too idealistic. Even so, I can't help admitting that I want it. I want to admit to you that I love you. It's strange. We have yet to have a conversation that is even remotely romantic in nature, yet I have fallen deeply in love with you. I hope when you do wake up, that you won't find me strange. It is strange, isn't it? To fall in love with someone who is comatose?

It's a little sad, too... to fall in love with someone who may never wake up. That's why I read Snow White. These fairy tales have to have some truth to them, right? They have to come from somewhere. I am not a prince, but I am a princess. It's close enough. One day I'll find the strength to wake you up. I'll bring you back. You're listening, aren't you?

They describe Snow as being pale and beautiful, and she loves animals. You would probably be embarrassed to hear it, but I think of you every time I read about her. You would probably prefer something scary. Like Snow Red. Maybe something darker, like Snow Black. I could see you in the snow where I am from. Standing there with your Divas of Darkness. I can't help imagining you so sad, though. Are you lonely where you are? Can you hear me? I'll bring the Divas with me tomorrow, but today I'll just read. I hope you can hear me. I don't want you to be lonely.

Tanaka? Do you even know who I am, I wonder? Do you remember me? Do you remember?


	2. Chapter 1

Sonia was staring at his hands. She had read somewhere that people who were going to wake up used their hands a lot more. It was a sign that the neurons were firing in his brain... or something. While she had yet to see any real movement, she had taken the time to memorize the creases of his knuckles and the halos his rings formed above his pointer and middle fingers. His fingernails were growing a little too long. She would have to bring her clippers with her tomorrow.

It was strange, really. To love someone so much even though you didn't even really remember them to begin with. When she woke up, it all came in fragments. She remembered him muttering strange incantations, calling her his, "Dark Queen." She couldn't help laughing, remembering him announcing to everyone that he was the "Dark Lord," all the while his pet hamsters kept popping their chubby faces in and out of his scarf. She should have been thankful. Not everyone remembered even nearly as much as she did, and there was a chance he wouldn't remember her at all.

In that moment something else came back to her. She sat up straight, eyes wide as she dug through a pocket in her petty coat. When she pulled it out of her pocket, she leaned forward just enough to place it under his hand. It was a stuffed hamster. It looked like one out of the cartoons, but it was still cute, nonetheless. She watched his hand closely, her bottom lip trembling as she waited for a reaction. A few seconds went by, then maybe an hour, but nothing happened. All remained as it had before, except now Tanaka was lifelessly palming a stuffed hamster.

Sonia reluctantly leaned back into her chair, eyes still suspiciously watching his hand. As she watched his fingers, hers thrummed endlessly along the leather soft cover of her journal. Underneath that was a worn copy of _Snow White_. Both of which she had carried with her since the day she woke up. Waking up seemed so long ago. It didn't feel real. More like, a dream within a dream.

She remembered feeling cold. There were people hovering over her, some she recognized. Some she didn't. There were a lot of voices, too, though she didn't remember any of those. She didn't move for a long time, except to stretch her fingers. Her skin felt uncomfortable, like it was the wrong size. It was tighter than it had been before. All she had wanted to was to climb out of it.

First the people, then the voices, but the worst part was the hands. After a while, the people must have gotten tired of waiting. They pawed her too tight skin, and they burned her with their hands. She opened her mouth to scream, but she couldn't seem to find her voice. Maybe her skin had squeezed it out of her. Maybe she had never had one to begin with. The hands took her to a shower where they hosed her down and rubbed sweet smelling soap against what skin was showing. They hadn't even taken the time to take off her clothes.

She remembered there not being a single mirror in the bathroom. Later, when she began her required meetings with the Ultimate Psychiatrist, she asked him why there weren't mirrors in the bathrooms. He told her it was to prevent shock. The ones who woke up often forgot they weren't the same age as what their avatars portrayed. It was something they didn't want to risk. So, no mirrors. For two weeks, before she was allowed back into the general public, she had no clue what she looked like. Every once in a while she'd catch a glimpse. The reflection on a table, in a window, or in a glass, but it was always distorted.

Sonia sat, remembering it all, unconsciously gripping her books until her knuckles were sore. She released them to flex her knuckles and found she'd left an impression in the cover of her journal. A perfect copy of her palm was now pressed into the top half of the cover. She smiled before flipping it open to the first page. The Ultimate Psychiatrist had recommended that she should keep a journal. It had been such a hassle in the beginning, but now the weight was familiar. Days one through fourteen of the journal were chaotic. Some pages were single lines of thought or even just a question. There were some poems and short snippets of memories she had dreamed of the night before. Then, on day fifteen, when she was allowed back into the sleeping chambers where she had once woken up, it all started back on day one.

On that day one, which was actually day fifteen, she wrote about someone who was comatose. It was her first journal entry about him, and she had been writing letters to him every day since. Sonia flipped to day sixteen in her journal and read it over again. She liked to think that even if he couldn't hear her speak that maybe he could read her mind and see what she was writing to him, but that truly was just a fantasy. Even so, she silently sent him a thought, begging him to wake up. Then, she kept reading. She read about his hamsters and glanced mournfully at the stuffed hamster under Tanaka's palm. She really hoped he had forgotten about them. They had died long ago, but they were still very much alive in the virtual world. She had hoped the feeling of the fur would trigger something and he would wake up, but it didn't seem to be working.

With a sigh, she shut her journal back and set it underneath her chair. She would write today's entry before she left, but first she had to read him some _Snow White_. She flipped open the old text to the first page. There was an illustration of a castle with trimmed hedges and beautiful ivy hanging from the balcony and taking over the walls. It didn't remind her at all of her home, and that was probably why she liked it. There was a tiny smudge over the balcony ledge where there had probably been a bird, but time and many hands had rubbed it from the page. She had found the book in the Ultimate Psychiatrist's library. Most of the book were apparently from a small library that had been burnt down during the tragedy. There had been great efforts to save as many books as possible, but from the looks of the Psychiatrist's collection, it wasn't going well.

Even so, most of the book was intact, and it was one of the few not burned and fairly dry. She read first few words, slowly and carefully, trying to get a feel for how they sounded in the silence of the room. Sonia waited for them to echo back to her, then began to read more firmly. She made it to third or fourth page before one of the capsules began to beep. She looked up, hoping it was his, but his hands were still. People began rushing in, breaking the silent cornucopia she had built for herself and Tanaka. Someone was waking up, but it wasn't him.


	3. Chapter 2

He had dunked his face in a bowl of ice water. People were sticking his arms and legs with needles. His throat was dry, itchy, but he couldn't scratch it. He couldn't find his hands, and now he couldn't breathe. The world was black. Then it was blindingly white before it was black again.

Someone was saying his name, but they were too far away for him to place the voice. Someone pinched his elbow. He yelled, but they only pinched harder. There was an alarm going off somewhere. Was there a fire? Was he in an ambulance? He had never been in an ambulance before. That would explain the poking and the needles. The doctors were putting him under for the ride.

And, boy, was he ready for the ride.

* * *

Kazuichi didn't fight like most of them. Sonia mulled this over and over as she watched him relax back into his pod. He woke up, ready to go back to sleep. If she remembered him correctly, that was very surprising. It was unlike him. Though, she barely knew him at all. The doctors and nurses crowded around him, hands splayed in front of them. They usually had to fight the waking ones. They weren't sure what to do with their hands in this case.

Ultimately, they seemed to just let him sleep it off. Slowly, each doctor and nurse made their way back out of the room, paying no mind to Sonia or Kazuichi. Sonia couldn't help noting how irresponsible that was, but then she remembered them bathing her with all of her clothes still on, and she was no longer surprised. Still, she couldn't bring herself to let him wake up alone.

Her eyes trailed back to Tanaka. He lay perfectly still. He was a porcelain doll. A creation based off a person she knew. It wasn't really him. Not yet, anyway. Before she could bring herself to leave his side, she leaned forward and brushed his knuckles. They were warm. They felt like hope, and that hope bled into her chest and into her cheeks.

 _'Sonia, thank you for keeping up with your diary, and thank you so much for allowing me the opportunity to read it. I can't express to you how valuable this is to studying how your group reacts to the real world stimuli versus the virtual world.'_

She remembered the sweat on her palms and the pain as her heart thrummed loudly in her chest. Blood was rushing so fast through her brains and her ventricles. It was making her light headed. She tried to answer him out loud, but she couldn't bring herself to say anything. She settled for a nod, and that seemed efficient enough for the Ultimate Psychiatrist.

 _'However, I did notice a sudden… I don't want to say obsession, but… an odd focus on one of your group members. Do you want to tell me a little about that?'_

No. No she just wanted to throw up. She looked around the room, but couldn't see a trash can anywhere nearby. There was plush, beige carpeting in the room, and she was sitting on a maroon colored couch with flower-embroidered pillows. She really hoped she wouldn't puke on any of it. It would be so embarrassing.

 _'I know this must be a very sensitive topic for you. I totally understand this need to… watch. To study and to understand what you went through. It's healthy to empathize with others. But… I must warn you. You, Kazuichi, and a select others are special cases. You didn't die during the original experiment. We knew 100% that you would wake up eventually, of your own free will. It was simply a matter of 'when?''_

Why was he telling her this? Why did this matter? Bile was burning in her chest and sweat was beading along her forehead and staining the armpits of her shirt. She needed a cold shower and a toilet. She needed a haircut, too. She had been asleep too long. Her hair had grown while she slept and she could nearly stand on it. It had lost the pastel gold look and was much grayer at the ends. It made her feel so uncomfortable.

 _'Tanaka, though… we have no way of knowing if he will ever wake up. He could be permanently comatose. It's good that you are talking to him, and I encourage you to continue to do so, but… I don't want you to put so much hope into something, and to be disappointed. Even if he were to wake up, there is also a chance he would not be the same person you knew in the simulation. There is just no way to tell.'_

"Hope." She had said it like it was a contagious disease. Sonia had a lot of hope. She squeezed his lifeless fingers. Was it really so bad to hope?

It took her a long time to release her hold on his hand, and it took her even longer to leave her seat beside him. When she did, she left all of her books where they were. She would be back as soon as she could.

Kazuichi was two pods away. His beanie was gone, and where it had once been, there were long streaks of black hair, and the pink that remained has faded to a baby pink. It made him look so much softer than she remembered. Instinctually, her gaze fell on his hand. It shook and twitched with life. There was a mixture of joy and jealousy in her chest as she watched. It wasn't something she was used to seeing, and that filled her to the brim with despair. One second more and she would have walked away, but then he opened his eyes and her gaze met his.

His eyes flicked back and forth, focusing on her left eye, then moving on the her right, then back again. She knew she should call for a doctor, but she couldn't bring herself to look away. He had went to sleep with his contacts in. The iris was a familiar bright pink, but the whites surrounding them were lined red with prolonged irritation. It made her want to scratch her own eyes. She'd make sure to request some eye drops for him later.

Silence blanketed the room. The two simply stared at each other, and it was eerily comfortable. Sonia, though, was struggling to find words. She wanted to hear his voice. She hadn't realized how desperate she was for words until this moment. So long had she sat having one way conversations with herself, she wanted someone to finally wake up and respond. However, no amount of thinking would conjure the right words. So, she settled.

"Do you remember me?"

He smiled.

"Of course, Ms. Sonia."

Her eyes burned. Tears were creeping into the corners of her eyes. She had desperately waited for that answer. She had wanted to hear those words so badly. Yet, hearing them, she felt more hopeless than she ever had.

She wanted to hear those words so badly, but from someone else.


	4. Chapter 3

_"Thank you both for coming today. Sonia, this is Fuyuhiko, Fuyuhiko, this is-"_

 _"I know who the hell she is. You don't have to treat me like a child."_

He was sitting up straight, arms crossed, legs crossed. He was an impenetrable wall. Sonia couldn't help admiring him for that, and she found herself crossing her arms, trying to match his intensity.

 _"Yes, well. Nice to see your memory hasn't been too terribly damaged. I'm sure you're wondering why I brought you both in together."_

Sonia mulled this over and over, but came to no conclusions. Fuyuhiko, however, didn't need any time.

 _"Cause we're the only ones awake. No shit."_

Sonia couldn't help staring at him. He was so reckless. He was so indifferent to everything. He was so unlike her who faithfully did as she was told and spent every waking moment on the edge of despair. Fuyuhiko wasn't just on the edge, he was basking in it.

 _"Yes, and not only that, but you have another similarity… Fuyuhiko, is there something wrong with your eye?"_

He growled. Fuyuhiko literally let a vibrating growl rumble from his throat. Sonia hadn't noticed before, but he kept his right eye shut almost constantly. However, when the psychiatrist pointed it out, he instantly opened it.

 _"Don't worry about my eye, you bastard."_

His cursing made Sonia wince, but the psychiatrist only smiled and wrote something down on his notepad.

 _"Anyway, the other thing you have in common is this… obsession with one of your fellow group members."_

Fuyuhiko's arms began to unfold after that, as did his legs. Suddenly both feet were planted firmly on the ground, and his hands were gripping the edges of the couch cushions. It looked like any second he would fall forward, and he was closing his eye again. The Ultimate Psychiatrist pulled out Sonia's journal and what she could only guess was Fuyuhiko's journal. His was black and very plain. She was surprised he even had written a journal in the first place.

 _"Sonia, you frequently spend time in the ward with Gundam Tanaka, correct?"_

She winced, but nodded just the same.

 _"On the other hand, you Fuyuhiko, you don't go to the ward at all. I am I correct in that?"_

Fuyuhiko didn't respond. There was sweat trailing from his hairline down to his jawline. It was making Sonia uncomfortable just watching him.

 _"However, much like Sonia, you seem to be writing a lot about –"_

Fuyuhiko shot up from his seat. Sonia jumped, but the psychiatrist just sat there, watching him. It was as if he had expected that response. This must have been a very common thing.

 _"Shut your mouth. I don't want to deal with this stupid shit anymore."_

With that, he stomped out of the room, but not before yanking some of the delicate books off of the shelf on his way out. The psychiatrist sighed, placing their journals at his feet alongside his notepad.

 _"Please excuse me, Sonia. I must see to him."_

And with that, he quietly left the room, and, as usual, Sonia was left in silence. While she sat there, unsure of whether to stay or go, her gaze locked on their journals. Hers was on top, but right underneath was Fuyuhiko's. Her gaze flickered toward the door, then back to the journals. It didn't seem like anyone would be coming back for some time.

She hesitantly reached forward and took both of the journals. She looked at hers and smiled, then set it to the side. Fuyuhiko's seemed much heavier than hers, though they looked to be about the same size. Her heart ached as she opened the front cover. Every line was filled with words. Some she could read easily, others were scribbled down in a flurry and were unintelligible. When she flipped to the next page, she found that he had begun filling each line with double lines. Two sentences were written on top of each other in small print that Sonia had to squint to read. One constant throughout, though, was a name.

' _Peko Pekoyama.'_

* * *

She was in one of the pods between Kazuichi and Tanaka. One of her braids had come undone sometime before she went into the coma. She didn't have her sword anymore. Sonia hovered over her from a distance, admiring the stoic expression she held even when unconscious. While Sonia studied Peko, Kazuichi was watching Sonia. Somehow, someway, he remembered her in detail, though she was much older than he had expected. He was a lot older than he had expected.

Sonia was watching Peko's hands, but they didn't move. She took a step closer to the pod and reached out. Her hand was ice. If it had been Tanaka's hand, it would have been a painful feeling. However, a cold hand from Peko somehow seemed fitting. She clasped her hand in hers and held it tightly, warming it with her own hand so the muscles softened and she felt less like a statue. She was alive. She was a living person. She was just like Tanaka, and Fuyuhiko was just like…

"What are you doing Ms. Sonia?"

Sonia didn't look up and she didn't let go of Peko's hand. She mentally promised to write to Peko, too. Sonia would let her know Fuyuhiko hadn't forgotten. Sonia wouldn't forget either.

"Just thinking."

"About?"

Somewhat annoyed, she looked up to meet Kazuichi's eyes. Once again, she felt the need to scratch her own eyes.

"Don't those hurt?"

"What?"

"The contacts. Who knows how long you've had them in."

Kazuichi chuckled, rubbing one of his eyelids with the back of his hand just before yawning. He then held his arms up over his head and stretched. There was a popping sound, then he sighed.

"I've slept with these things in for years. No worries."

"I suppose you're right."

"Pardon me, Ms. Sonia, but… you never told me what you were thinking about."

She looked down at Peko, again. Sonia was thinking about a lot of things. She was trying to decide what she would pick up from the cafeteria on her way back to her room. She was thinking of what book to read Peko. She was thinking about talking to Fuyuhiko. She was wondering why he didn't visit. Most of all, she was thinking of Tanaka and his warm hands. She was thinking about hope.

"Nothing in particular," was all she could manage.

Kazuichi didn't press her for more information, but continued to silently watch her. Sonia decided she had spent too much time away and started back toward Tanaka's pod. Kazuichi called frantically after her.

"Sonia! Sonia, wait! Where are you going?"

She didn't turn around, though she stopped.

"Excuse me for my rudeness, but someone is waiting for me."

There was a pause.

"Who?"

She looked over her shoulder and could see a mixture of fear and surprise in the pink-redness of his eyes. She thought she could see his heart thrumming in his chest and in his ears. His ears were nearly as red as his eyes. Somehow, she thought he knew who she was going to see.

"Tanaka. Gundam Tanaka. Do you remember him?"

He didn't answer. Instead, he shook his head, and deflated back into his pod.

"I think I need to lie down."

Sonia suddenly felt like she needed to, too. Instead, she faced back toward Tanaka and went to his side, but her spot didn't feel so comfortable anymore.


End file.
